职场英语|职场上的有来有往

中华民族是一个崇尚有来有往的民族。拜访长者，大家可以带去一些营养品；给新婚夫妇包红包，一句关系亲疏里面有几十元至几千元现金......有时送礼物花太多钱是犯忌的，也有时一点儿小意思又不够，但不论接收礼物的人是哪个，在什么场所下送礼物，多花些时间仔细挑选礼物都是不枉费的。

一个适合的礼物，假如送的办法不对，也会叫你惹上麻烦。知道不同文化的送礼物礼节是非常重要的。在下面的对话里，一个初来中国的外国朋友在送礼物上就碰到了点小麻烦。

A: This is the first time I've been in China, and everything here fascinated^{1 me. But there is something I can never figure out!}

B: What's wrong? Did anything puzzle you, speak it up and see if I can help you out.

A: Good! You turn up so timely^{2! I am just expecting some good explanation. You know the other day one of my Chinese friends was celebrating his birthday so I asked him what he would like for a birthday present. Do you know what he said? No, no! Don't give me anything. Don't be polite! can you believe it?}

B: Actually, I can well believe it. It's a Chinese way of expressing his being humble^{3 and reserved. But most often the speaker doesn't really mean refusal4 unless he firmly insists. Chinese people don't easily accept the given things only when he has contributed to the giver or there is an intimacy5. And they don't want their friends pofei which means to spend money.}

A: What did he mean by refusing to accept a present from me then?

B: I don't think he was actually refusing to accept a present from you. It was just his way of being polite. He didn't mean to be rude and certainly he didn't mean to offend^{6 you.}

A: Well, how do you like that? And what was I supposed to do or say in such a situation?

B: You should first understand that Chinese people are not straightforward^{7 in some situation. In such a situation I suggest you just insist, and if your friend is an elderly gentleman, you probably have to insist several times, but even then I doubt if he will ever give you a direct answer. Or you can buy him a gift directly without asking him. I think he will be satisfied with whatever you buy him. Actually what counts is your good intention.}

A: So you mean buying a gift is a good choice than not, right?

B: I think so.

A: Thank you.

Notes:

1. figure out. A说中国的所有都让她感到fascinated, 感到着迷，唯独有一件事情他想不通，他说But there is something I can never figure out!

Figure out, 想了解，弄了解。它的英文讲解是如此的：find the solution to or understand the meaning of

大家来看更多的例句：

e.g: It didn't take the children long to figure out the correct answer.
孩子们没花不少时间即使出了正确的答案。

2. help you out. B非常关切地询问了他们碰上什么解不开了困惑了，要他们讲出看看我能否助你。Speak it up and see if I can help you out.

Help sb out 是帮助解决难点也就是help sb in a particular situation of need.

e.g: He refused to accept help out of a false sense of pride.
他因为死要面子而不愿同意帮助。

3. A 紧接着说了，You turn up so timely. 太好了，你简直出现得太准时了。我正想找人给我好好讲解一下呢。I am just expecting some good explanation.

4. It's a Chinese way of expressing his being humble and reserved. B听完了让A大惑不解的问题之后，劝他不要放在心上，由于这只不过中国式的客气和矜持。一般情况下，一个人说不要送礼物，千万不要送礼物并非真的表示拒绝，除非他坚持不要，firmly insist not taking anything,

中国人一般给人帮过忙或者是关系亲密的朋友之间才同意馈赠，unless he has contributed to the giver or there's an intimacy. 他们不想让朋友们破费，也就是spend money on buying the gift. 烧钱。Humble 谦卑的，谦恭的reserved 文静，矜持，守旧的。这是形容人的性格特点，它的字面意思是预定的，预留的。预定座位是reserve a seat.

5. A的疑惑澄清了，他问道what was I supposed to do or say in such a situation. 那样碰上这样的情况我该如何做呢？be supposed to do something是：该如何做

e.g: I'm supposed to go on a diet.
我应该节食。

6. Actually what counts is your good intention. B跟A说， You should first understand that Chinese people are not straightforward in some situation. 第一要了解的是中国人在有的状况下并非非常直接的，在这样的情况下你需要一再坚持，just insist，假如他们是为老先生，你还要多次坚持，you probably would have to insist several times. 或者直接买好礼物而不必问他，朋友们一定会开心的，毕竟要紧的是你的一份心意。到了大家要讲的这句话，Actually what counts is your good intention. Count 在这里可不是计算或者数数的意思，大家再来看一句话：

e.g: Knowledge without common sense counts for little.
光有学问而无知识，则这种学问无甚价值。

看来，文化的差异真不能小看，不了解有没收听大家节目的外国朋友们碰到过和对话中这位朋友一样的困惑。听说在俄罗斯，送礼物是突发其想。俄罗斯人也喜欢有来有往，一般礼物都是小巧而不贵的，对于外国人，俄罗斯人特别喜欢得到在自己国家没方法得到而好用的东西，他们会喜欢马铃薯削皮器，保鲜膜和可密封的塑料袋。因为礼物一般小巧而且送礼物随便，礼物一般也没包装。而在日本，他们会特别重视包装，还会依据复杂的风俗来选择包装纸的颜色和类型，风俗甚至会指示包装纸图案的方向。同意礼物也要以双手奉上，代表尊敬和谦卑。

假如你在各地旅游，不要让送礼物的风俗绊倒你，找出你马上拜访国家的送礼物的有关风俗，用正确的办法送适合的礼物，对巩固新的友谊非常有帮助！